I have been getting annoyed with blogger, and i've seen a few people switch from this to typepad, so I decided to be a copycat and join them! haha
http://earthspirit21.typepad.com
It's really nothing special right now, i'm working on adding more customization + a new banner! But I like it sooo much better than blogger... so keep track of me there! When I go back to being raw, i'll use that blog as my raw blog as well.
Peace & Love,
-- amy
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Some veggie/animal rights quotes
Just thought i'd share some of my favorite veggie/animal rights quotes! This will be long.
To those people who say, `My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say `Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.' Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade off. - Bill Maher, PETA celebrity spokesman
If the death of one rat cured all diseases, it wouldn't make any difference to me. - Chris De Rose, Director, Last Chance for Animals
Ask the experimenters why they experiment on animals, and the answer is: "Because the animals are like us." Ask the experimenters why it is morally okay to experiment on animals, and the answer is: "Because the animals are not like us." Animal experimentation rests on a logical contradiction. - Charles R. Magel
We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form. - William Ralph Inge, Outspoken Essays, 1922
The question is not, "Can they reason?" nor, "Can they talk?" but rather, "Can they suffer?" - Jeremy Bentham
No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink. - Murray Banks
Cruelty is one fashion statement we can all do without. - Rue McClanahan
Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by What is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him? - Pierre Troubetzkoy
Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight. - Albert Schweitzer
Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez
Drinking without being thirsty and making love at any time, Madame, are the only things that distinguish us from other animals. - Pierre-Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, The Marriage of Figaro, 1784, translated
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. - Ellen DeGeneres
If you love animals called pets, why do you eat animals called dinner? - As seen on a shirt at veganstore.com
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot. - Mark Twain, What Is Man, 1906
Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow-creatures is amusing in itself. - James Anthony Froude, Oceana, 1886
The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for white, or women created for men. - Alice Walker
As often as Herman had witnessed the slaughter of animals and fish, he always had the same thought: in their behaviour toward creatures, all men were Nazis. The smugness with which man could do with other species as he pleased exemplified the most extreme racist theories, the principle that might is right. - Isaac Bashevis Singer
Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage. - Sri Aurobindo
Those who wish to pet and baby wild animals "love" them. But those who respect their natures and wish to let them live normal lives, love them more. - Edwin Way Teale, Circle of the Seasons, 1953
Animals can communicate quite well. And they do. And generally speaking, they are ignored. - Alice Walker
Get a feel for fur: Slam your fingers in a car door. - Anonymous, on the use of steel traps to capture fur-bearing animals, cited in Audubon, November 1990
Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made [man] is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. - Mark Twain
Vivisection is a social evil because if it advances human knowledge, it does so at the expense of human character. - George Bernard Shaw
The basis of all animal rights should be the Golden Rule: we should treat them as we would wish them to treat us, were any other species in our dominant position. - Christine Stevens
Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages. - Thomas A. Edison
To a man whose mind is free there is something even more intolerable in the sufferings of animals than in the sufferings of man. For with the latter it is at least admitted that suffering is evil and that the man who causes it is a criminal. But thousands of animals are uselessly butchered every day without a shadow of remorse. If any man were to refer to it, he would be thought ridiculous. And that is the unpardonable crime. - Romain Rolland, Nobel Prize 1915
When it comes to having a central nervous system, and the ability to feel pain, hunger, and thirst, a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. - Ingrid Newkirk
Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - William S. Gilbert
Deliberate cruelty to our defenceless and beautiful little cousins is surely one of the meanest and most detestable vices of which a human being can be guilty. - William Ralph Inge
The indifference, callousness and contempt that so many people exhibit toward animals is evil first because it results in great suffering in animals, and second because it results in an incalculably great impoverishment of the human spirit. All education should be directed toward the refinement of the individual's sensibilities in relation not only to one's fellow humans everywhere, but to all things whatsoever. - Ashley Montague
There will be no justice as long as man will stand with a knife or with a gun and destroy those who are weaker than he is. - Isaac Bashevis Singer
The life spark in my eyes is in no way different than the life spark in the eyes of any other sentient being. - Michael Stepaniak, quoted in Joanne Stepaniak, The Vegan Sourcebook, 1998
We must fight against the spirit of unconscious cruelty with which we treat the animals. Animals suffer as much as we do. True humanity does not allow us to impose such sufferings on them. It is our duty to make the whole world recognize it. Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will not find peace. - Albert Schweitzer, The Philosophy of Civilization
Peace & Love,
-- amy
To those people who say, `My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say `Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.' Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade off. - Bill Maher, PETA celebrity spokesman
If the death of one rat cured all diseases, it wouldn't make any difference to me. - Chris De Rose, Director, Last Chance for Animals
Ask the experimenters why they experiment on animals, and the answer is: "Because the animals are like us." Ask the experimenters why it is morally okay to experiment on animals, and the answer is: "Because the animals are not like us." Animal experimentation rests on a logical contradiction. - Charles R. Magel
We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form. - William Ralph Inge, Outspoken Essays, 1922
The question is not, "Can they reason?" nor, "Can they talk?" but rather, "Can they suffer?" - Jeremy Bentham
No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink. - Murray Banks
Cruelty is one fashion statement we can all do without. - Rue McClanahan
Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by What is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him? - Pierre Troubetzkoy
Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight. - Albert Schweitzer
Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez
Drinking without being thirsty and making love at any time, Madame, are the only things that distinguish us from other animals. - Pierre-Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, The Marriage of Figaro, 1784, translated
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. - Ellen DeGeneres
If you love animals called pets, why do you eat animals called dinner? - As seen on a shirt at veganstore.com
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot. - Mark Twain, What Is Man, 1906
Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow-creatures is amusing in itself. - James Anthony Froude, Oceana, 1886
The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for white, or women created for men. - Alice Walker
As often as Herman had witnessed the slaughter of animals and fish, he always had the same thought: in their behaviour toward creatures, all men were Nazis. The smugness with which man could do with other species as he pleased exemplified the most extreme racist theories, the principle that might is right. - Isaac Bashevis Singer
Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage. - Sri Aurobindo
Those who wish to pet and baby wild animals "love" them. But those who respect their natures and wish to let them live normal lives, love them more. - Edwin Way Teale, Circle of the Seasons, 1953
Animals can communicate quite well. And they do. And generally speaking, they are ignored. - Alice Walker
Get a feel for fur: Slam your fingers in a car door. - Anonymous, on the use of steel traps to capture fur-bearing animals, cited in Audubon, November 1990
Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made [man] is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. - Mark Twain
Vivisection is a social evil because if it advances human knowledge, it does so at the expense of human character. - George Bernard Shaw
The basis of all animal rights should be the Golden Rule: we should treat them as we would wish them to treat us, were any other species in our dominant position. - Christine Stevens
Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages. - Thomas A. Edison
To a man whose mind is free there is something even more intolerable in the sufferings of animals than in the sufferings of man. For with the latter it is at least admitted that suffering is evil and that the man who causes it is a criminal. But thousands of animals are uselessly butchered every day without a shadow of remorse. If any man were to refer to it, he would be thought ridiculous. And that is the unpardonable crime. - Romain Rolland, Nobel Prize 1915
When it comes to having a central nervous system, and the ability to feel pain, hunger, and thirst, a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. - Ingrid Newkirk
Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - William S. Gilbert
Deliberate cruelty to our defenceless and beautiful little cousins is surely one of the meanest and most detestable vices of which a human being can be guilty. - William Ralph Inge
The indifference, callousness and contempt that so many people exhibit toward animals is evil first because it results in great suffering in animals, and second because it results in an incalculably great impoverishment of the human spirit. All education should be directed toward the refinement of the individual's sensibilities in relation not only to one's fellow humans everywhere, but to all things whatsoever. - Ashley Montague
There will be no justice as long as man will stand with a knife or with a gun and destroy those who are weaker than he is. - Isaac Bashevis Singer
The life spark in my eyes is in no way different than the life spark in the eyes of any other sentient being. - Michael Stepaniak, quoted in Joanne Stepaniak, The Vegan Sourcebook, 1998
We must fight against the spirit of unconscious cruelty with which we treat the animals. Animals suffer as much as we do. True humanity does not allow us to impose such sufferings on them. It is our duty to make the whole world recognize it. Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will not find peace. - Albert Schweitzer, The Philosophy of Civilization
Peace & Love,
-- amy
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Cleaning!
My apartment is usually always a huge, huge mess. Not just cluttered, but a mess. A gross mess. It's an absolute reflection of how I feel on the inside and I hate it. Doesn't help that my sister refuses to do anything. I'm trying to brighten my life up, make it more cheery and positive, so it's time my apartment gets a makeover... and stays that way. And if my sister doesn't keep up with this new, clean apartment deal, well... then i'll just have to kick her.
So, i'm cleaning! I've been awake since 11am yesterday morning, i'm running on caffeine, and i'm cleaning! I will not go to bed until I am not surrounded by one speck of dirt... which may be difficult because my vaccum is broken. I've tackled 2 loads of dishes so far, still at least another to go... i've picked up most of the trash from the kitchen, cleaned the two main cat litter boxes... progress indeed!
Still left to do:
I really shouldn't drink so much coffee, but I can tell i'm going to need alot for today. Off to make a (second) new pot! Mmm I love my coffee. It's liquid crack basically, way too addicting.
Perhaps when my little apartment is all clean and sparkly i'll take pictures and post them. Maybe...
Peace & Love,
-- amy
So, i'm cleaning! I've been awake since 11am yesterday morning, i'm running on caffeine, and i'm cleaning! I will not go to bed until I am not surrounded by one speck of dirt... which may be difficult because my vaccum is broken. I've tackled 2 loads of dishes so far, still at least another to go... i've picked up most of the trash from the kitchen, cleaned the two main cat litter boxes... progress indeed!
Still left to do:
- clean bunny cage
- clean the rest of the kitchen (mop floor, countertops, etc)
- clean my room (not much to do there)
- clean living room -- sisters job... hopefully she'll help
- clean the office
- clean the bathroom -- sisters job... hopefully she'll help
- take out the projected 10+ bags of useless trash to the dumpster (how embarassing) ... sisters job
I really shouldn't drink so much coffee, but I can tell i'm going to need alot for today. Off to make a (second) new pot! Mmm I love my coffee. It's liquid crack basically, way too addicting.
Perhaps when my little apartment is all clean and sparkly i'll take pictures and post them. Maybe...
Peace & Love,
-- amy
Monday, March 12, 2007
I'm scared + Blast from the past
On Wednesday i'm going to the dreaded GED orientation class and to sign up to take the tests. I'm scared. To most people, what's the big deal, right? Unless you've experienced social anxiety, the absolute fear I have when it comes to being around people I don't know makes no sense to you. To make it worse, I can't find my bottle of Xanax! Nightmare! I did find my bottle of Rescue Remedy though, so if I don't find my Xanax, I at least have that. Tastes nasty, but it helps.
The other day my sister was going through a box of her movies, and found some "blast from the past" videos. Making The Band (with O-Town) tapes, Backstreet Boys videos, Hanson videos, the Britney Spears/Nsync McDonalds video... it was hilarious and so fun to watch. I wish I could turn back time sometimes to when the biggest thing I had to worry about was if i'd get good seats to a Backstreet Boys concert. Even though I may not be doing too much of what an adult may be doing yet, it still sucks being one. Hopefully that will change though soon!
Speaking of my sister, she's been supposedly going to A.A. meetings. I don't believe her, but then again I have no reason to believe anything she says. If she is really serious about sobering up, she's sure not acting like it. Tonight she went with one of her friends (who is 18... why is my 26 year old sister hanging out with an 18 year old? oh yeah, because they have the same level of maturity) to Eric's house. Her evil ex. Hello! Duh, he was the one who caused her to be so depressed this past year and drove to her drink even more than she already did! So obviously they're all drinking at his house tonight, even though she claims he won't let her drink there. Whatever, i'm not stupid. I cannot wait to move away from her and not have to deal with her problems anymore! I want to be free!
That's all for now!
Peace & Love,
-- amy (everclear no more! lol)
The other day my sister was going through a box of her movies, and found some "blast from the past" videos. Making The Band (with O-Town) tapes, Backstreet Boys videos, Hanson videos, the Britney Spears/Nsync McDonalds video... it was hilarious and so fun to watch. I wish I could turn back time sometimes to when the biggest thing I had to worry about was if i'd get good seats to a Backstreet Boys concert. Even though I may not be doing too much of what an adult may be doing yet, it still sucks being one. Hopefully that will change though soon!
Speaking of my sister, she's been supposedly going to A.A. meetings. I don't believe her, but then again I have no reason to believe anything she says. If she is really serious about sobering up, she's sure not acting like it. Tonight she went with one of her friends (who is 18... why is my 26 year old sister hanging out with an 18 year old? oh yeah, because they have the same level of maturity) to Eric's house. Her evil ex. Hello! Duh, he was the one who caused her to be so depressed this past year and drove to her drink even more than she already did! So obviously they're all drinking at his house tonight, even though she claims he won't let her drink there. Whatever, i'm not stupid. I cannot wait to move away from her and not have to deal with her problems anymore! I want to be free!
That's all for now!
Peace & Love,
-- amy (everclear no more! lol)
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Random, crazy dream.
Last night I had a dream that I lived in a small village and I was pregnant with triplets. Two boys and a girl. At one of my ultrasounds, they discovered I had something that apparently alot of people pregnant with multiples develop. What was it? A sack of ice between my boobs. 
The nurse doing the ultrasound told me "it's common, and at certain times of the day, you'll feel it get really cold, so in order to ease that, you have to do this special dance" and she proceeded to show me this special dance, that apparently warms up this bag of ice.
Umm... well at least I know what to do now if that were to ever really happen.
Yay I figured out how to add smilies without having to add an image code!!
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
The nurse doing the ultrasound told me "it's common, and at certain times of the day, you'll feel it get really cold, so in order to ease that, you have to do this special dance" and she proceeded to show me this special dance, that apparently warms up this bag of ice. Umm... well at least I know what to do now if that were to ever really happen.
Yay I figured out how to add smilies without having to add an image code!!
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Piano playing kitty!
First off, I have to share this video from youtube! How cute is this!? I wish my cats played the piano haha.
I haven't made it to the GED orientation class yet. My dad wasn't able to send me the money last week, and I was going to go tomorrow, but he said he'll send the money next week instead. So i'm going next Wednesday or Thursday! He made a deal with me too. If I get my GED, a job and my drivers license, he'll give me his car! Yay!
Hmm... not much else to update on.
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
I haven't made it to the GED orientation class yet. My dad wasn't able to send me the money last week, and I was going to go tomorrow, but he said he'll send the money next week instead. So i'm going next Wednesday or Thursday! He made a deal with me too. If I get my GED, a job and my drivers license, he'll give me his car! Yay!
Hmm... not much else to update on.
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Excitement!
For once in a very long time, I am truly excited about my future! I have something to really look forward to - the birth of my nephew, Avery! And I just feel like life is going to go my way for once. This week, on Wednesday or Thursday, I am going to a required GED orientation class so that I can sign up to take my GED tests, and i'll finally be able to get a job after I get my GED. I have my eyes set on a daycare center. I have an idea of what I might like to do for a career down the road (Pharmacy Tech.) And i'll finally be excaping from the hell of living with my sister - when Missy, her fiance and I rent a house together sometime before July (before Avery is due!) I'm even considering getting my drivers license. Can it be that life will get better for me? I think so!!!!!! I'm optimistic. :o)
Oh! The other day I bought Avery the cutest onesie + shorts outfit from Walmart! The first of many I plan to buy him hehe. They don't have it on the website. I'll try to get a picture of it before I give it to Missy. It's blue, and the onesie has two bears on it and it says "best buds" underneath it, the shorts have a bear on the right leg. The cashier even commented on how cute it was lol. 136 days until the little guy is due!!! Yay!!!
That's all for now. :o) Wish me luck for Wednesday/Thursday! I have to find my Xanax so I can take it so I don't have a panic attack during the orientation thing... that would suck...
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
P.S. I have a new name love! Thanks to Grey's Anatomy (even though I liked the name before) I am in love with the name Shepherd! :o)
Oh! The other day I bought Avery the cutest onesie + shorts outfit from Walmart! The first of many I plan to buy him hehe. They don't have it on the website. I'll try to get a picture of it before I give it to Missy. It's blue, and the onesie has two bears on it and it says "best buds" underneath it, the shorts have a bear on the right leg. The cashier even commented on how cute it was lol. 136 days until the little guy is due!!! Yay!!!
That's all for now. :o) Wish me luck for Wednesday/Thursday! I have to find my Xanax so I can take it so I don't have a panic attack during the orientation thing... that would suck...
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
P.S. I have a new name love! Thanks to Grey's Anatomy (even though I liked the name before) I am in love with the name Shepherd! :o)
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Attack of the blog quizzes!
| Your Dream Engagement Ring Has a Heart Diamond! |
 You wear your heart on your sleeve, so of course you should also wear it on your ring. A heart diamond is the perfect choice for highlighting your passionate disposition. Only a true romantic can get away with wearing this ring. Luckily, that's you. And only a true romantic can give you this ring, so make sure you find him...! |
| Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Spiderman |
 "I have always been standing in your doorway. Isn't it about time somebody saved your life?" |
| You Are a Very Good Girl |
 You are 90% Good and 10% Bad You're a perfect angel - almost impossibly so Don't you ever feel like being a little bad?!? |
| You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe |
 But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites. And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear. |
| Your Makeup Look Is |
 Pale Lips with Big Eyes A little classic, a little retro - you look fantastic in this high fashion look. |
| You Are a Cupcake |
 Cute and fun, you never take life too seriously. People are constantly surprised by how delightful you are. |
| You Are 24% Girly |
 You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit. Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way. |
| You Are Most Like Liv Tyler |
 “I don't want to spend so much time obsessing about myself.” |
| Your Beauty Element is Earth |
 You are the epitome of a natural beauty. Your look is definitely effortless. And while you shy away from a lot of make-up and accessories, you're no granola girl either! |
I'm addicted to these! haha
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Monday, February 19, 2007
Grey's Anatomy
Okay, so i'm pretty much addicted to Grey's Anatomy now. I had never seen it before, but after hearing all the hype about it, I decided a few days ago to sign up for a free trial to netflix for the sole purpose of getting season one/two of Grey's! I got season one on Saturday in the mail, started watching it yesterday morning and i'm all done... and i'm SO bummed that today is a holiday and mail isn't running, so they won't go out until tomorrow and I won't get to start season two until Wednesday!
I accidently (well, okay, not accidently lol) read a recap of the last episode and now i'm freaking out! I have to get caught up!
I now understand the hype that is Dr. McDreamy! Haha.
Until next time...
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
I accidently (well, okay, not accidently lol) read a recap of the last episode and now i'm freaking out! I have to get caught up!
I now understand the hype that is Dr. McDreamy! Haha.
Until next time...
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Friday, February 16, 2007
It's a BOY!!!
My friend Missy called me earlier and left a voicemail saying "I had my first ultrasound today! I have exciting news, call me back!" so I immediately called her back! She first thought she was about 3 months pregnant, but she wasn't quite sure, because she couldn't remember when her last period was. Well... today at her appointment, during the ultrasound, they discovered she's 5 MONTHS!!! And she found out the gender... it's a BOY!!! We were both hoping for a little girl... but I am so excited that it's a boy!! So is she!! I can't believe she's going to have a son in just 4 months!!
I'm trying to help her find the absolute perfect name for the little guy. So far she seems to like Xavier and Theodore as well as a few others, but we'll see!
Since the day she told me she was pregnant (my birthday, February 6th!), we started talking about moving into a place together (with her fiance too, of course!) and I really think it might happen! I want to be in this little guys life and I can't think of a better way to do it than to live in the same house! haha... so hopefully it works out! :o)
OMG I'M GONNA HAVE A NEPHEW!!!!! 145 days until he makes his debut. :o)
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
I'm trying to help her find the absolute perfect name for the little guy. So far she seems to like Xavier and Theodore as well as a few others, but we'll see!
Since the day she told me she was pregnant (my birthday, February 6th!), we started talking about moving into a place together (with her fiance too, of course!) and I really think it might happen! I want to be in this little guys life and I can't think of a better way to do it than to live in the same house! haha... so hopefully it works out! :o)
OMG I'M GONNA HAVE A NEPHEW!!!!! 145 days until he makes his debut. :o)
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Social Anxiety
(this is a copy of a post I made on a message board)
I suffer from pretty bad social anxiety. It's basically taken over my life. I've been shy my entire life and not too comfortable around new people and especially large crowds, so maybe i've had it to some degree my entire life. In school, if I was supposed to do a presentation/speak in front of the class, i'd choose to take an F instead, because my nerves would be so shot that I couldn't handle it. I was convinced as soon as I got up there everyone in the class was going to judge me (which stems from my insecurities about my weight too.) I never tried to explain this to any of my teachers because I didn't think they would understand. The result of all those F's? Failing too many classes making it impossible to graduate on time. Thinking about it now, I think something that happened to be in 3rd grade might have a part in why i'm scared to be in front of people like that. My teacher was all into science and one day was showing us this "experiment" where you take vegetable shortenening, put it on your fingers and dip your fingers in ice water. The vegetable shortenening was supposed to represent whale blubber and how it keeps whales warm. I was one of the volunteers to try it out, and when I was up in front of the class, this boy shouted out "yeah, like she needs any more blubber!"
But over the last few years it's gotten worse, and over the past year or so it's gotten worse than it ever has been. I've always been a homebody and would much rather choose to stay at home than go out, but would have no problem going out if I needed to or had somewhere to go. But now... I can go a week or more without even stepping outside. The thought of going outside to do something as simple as taking out the trash in the middle of the day is nervewracking. I have to wait until it's dark out, so I know no one will be outside. If I have to go do something by myself outside, my nerves get shot, I start to shake and I pace around because I don't know what to do. If i'm going somewhere with someone, i'm usually okay, because they distract me from everything around me. But if they leave me... it's bad! About a month ago my sister and I were at the grocery store, and she walked away from me for a few minutes to go get something from another isle, and all these people were walking around me and I started to panic! When my sister got back to me she was like "are you okay? you're white as a ghost!" It wasn't cool!
I have a phobia of the phone. I usually have no problem answering it, if it's someone I know. But having to call someone? That's a whole other story. Usually I can call family/friends fine, but there is a level of panic in it. If I have to call someone I don't know, I have to create a "script" in my head of what i'm going to say, sometimes I have to write it down. If I don't know exactly what I want to stay before I call, I will freeze. It takes me at least a half hour to get the courage to call, because other than creating my script, I have to calm myself down, dial the number a few times (I've developed this thing where I am certain I dialed it wrong, so I have to check it/redial it a few times before i'm convinced it's right... I have a tad case of OCD with certain things) and make sure I am in a very calm place. The other day my sister asked me to order a pizza for her and I couldn't calm myself down to call, I was starting to panic really badly... so I drank a beer to loosen myself up! It was awful!
With the script-creating thing, I have to do it in public situations too. I remember one time a few months ago I had to go to the doctors, my sister took me (I don't drive... i'd surely have a panic attack taking the driving test!) ... before I went in to tell the front desk I was there for my appointment, I had to ask my sister "what do I say? does this sound okay? are you sure?" and she thought I was crazy!
I don't know if this was a vent or what... *shrug*
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
I suffer from pretty bad social anxiety. It's basically taken over my life. I've been shy my entire life and not too comfortable around new people and especially large crowds, so maybe i've had it to some degree my entire life. In school, if I was supposed to do a presentation/speak in front of the class, i'd choose to take an F instead, because my nerves would be so shot that I couldn't handle it. I was convinced as soon as I got up there everyone in the class was going to judge me (which stems from my insecurities about my weight too.) I never tried to explain this to any of my teachers because I didn't think they would understand. The result of all those F's? Failing too many classes making it impossible to graduate on time. Thinking about it now, I think something that happened to be in 3rd grade might have a part in why i'm scared to be in front of people like that. My teacher was all into science and one day was showing us this "experiment" where you take vegetable shortenening, put it on your fingers and dip your fingers in ice water. The vegetable shortenening was supposed to represent whale blubber and how it keeps whales warm. I was one of the volunteers to try it out, and when I was up in front of the class, this boy shouted out "yeah, like she needs any more blubber!"
But over the last few years it's gotten worse, and over the past year or so it's gotten worse than it ever has been. I've always been a homebody and would much rather choose to stay at home than go out, but would have no problem going out if I needed to or had somewhere to go. But now... I can go a week or more without even stepping outside. The thought of going outside to do something as simple as taking out the trash in the middle of the day is nervewracking. I have to wait until it's dark out, so I know no one will be outside. If I have to go do something by myself outside, my nerves get shot, I start to shake and I pace around because I don't know what to do. If i'm going somewhere with someone, i'm usually okay, because they distract me from everything around me. But if they leave me... it's bad! About a month ago my sister and I were at the grocery store, and she walked away from me for a few minutes to go get something from another isle, and all these people were walking around me and I started to panic! When my sister got back to me she was like "are you okay? you're white as a ghost!" It wasn't cool!
I have a phobia of the phone. I usually have no problem answering it, if it's someone I know. But having to call someone? That's a whole other story. Usually I can call family/friends fine, but there is a level of panic in it. If I have to call someone I don't know, I have to create a "script" in my head of what i'm going to say, sometimes I have to write it down. If I don't know exactly what I want to stay before I call, I will freeze. It takes me at least a half hour to get the courage to call, because other than creating my script, I have to calm myself down, dial the number a few times (I've developed this thing where I am certain I dialed it wrong, so I have to check it/redial it a few times before i'm convinced it's right... I have a tad case of OCD with certain things) and make sure I am in a very calm place. The other day my sister asked me to order a pizza for her and I couldn't calm myself down to call, I was starting to panic really badly... so I drank a beer to loosen myself up! It was awful!
With the script-creating thing, I have to do it in public situations too. I remember one time a few months ago I had to go to the doctors, my sister took me (I don't drive... i'd surely have a panic attack taking the driving test!) ... before I went in to tell the front desk I was there for my appointment, I had to ask my sister "what do I say? does this sound okay? are you sure?" and she thought I was crazy!
I don't know if this was a vent or what... *shrug*
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Monday, February 12, 2007
I'm gonna be an auntie!
My friend Missy is having a baby!!! I'm certain my sister will never have any kids, so I rely on my friends to give me nieces and nephews!!! She told me on my birthday, it was the best birthday present ever. :-) I already have two honorary nieces, Nevaeh [2] and Lyric [6m] but i'll be closer to Missy's baby. I can't wait to find out what she's having! Just a few more months until her big ultrasound (she thinks she's about 3 months along now, she'll find out for sure at her first appointment)! We're both (as well as everyone in her family) hoping for a girl. Her family is full of boys, the last girl born was her, almost 21 years ago! I can't wait to spoil the little bugger!!!
She is set on naming the baby Alena if it's a girl. Her mom's name is Helen, and Alena is a form/variant of Helen. She isn't sure of a boys name yet though.
... unrelated, but I think i'm going to be addicted to this blog and post about any random thing! haha... i'll try not to... ;-)
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
She is set on naming the baby Alena if it's a girl. Her mom's name is Helen, and Alena is a form/variant of Helen. She isn't sure of a boys name yet though.
... unrelated, but I think i'm going to be addicted to this blog and post about any random thing! haha... i'll try not to... ;-)
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Names
I am a major name addict. I'm obsessed with them! I have a huge list of favorites, I have my first sons name set in stone and I *think* I have my first daughters name picked out too, but i'm not completely sure. I won't budge on my first sons name though... sorry future hubby, whoever you are! haha
Here is my short list of combos (maybe i'll post my long list later on... and some single names too) --
Boys
River Matthew -- my first sons name!
Cassius Joaquin
Sebastian Milo
Ephraim Charles
Magnus David
Jack Nathaniel
Charles & David are family names... Charles was my Grandpa & David is my dad!
Girls
Willow Eve
Natalia Sage "Nettie"
Penelope Kate "Poppy" or "Penny"
Oceana Elizabeth
Anneliese Victoria "Annie"
Mischa Rain
Avoset Dorothea
Heidi Susanna
Beatrix "Bessie"'
Natalia "Nettie", Elizabeth, Victoria & Dorothea are after people... Nettie was my late Grandma (dad's mom), Elizabeth is after me (my middle name is Beth), Victoria is my mom & Dorothea is after my late Grandma (mom's mom) Dorothy.
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Here is my short list of combos (maybe i'll post my long list later on... and some single names too) --
Boys
River Matthew -- my first sons name!
Cassius Joaquin
Sebastian Milo
Ephraim Charles
Magnus David
Jack Nathaniel
Charles & David are family names... Charles was my Grandpa & David is my dad!
Girls
Willow Eve
Natalia Sage "Nettie"
Penelope Kate "Poppy" or "Penny"
Oceana Elizabeth
Anneliese Victoria "Annie"
Mischa Rain
Avoset Dorothea
Heidi Susanna
Beatrix "Bessie"'
Natalia "Nettie", Elizabeth, Victoria & Dorothea are after people... Nettie was my late Grandma (dad's mom), Elizabeth is after me (my middle name is Beth), Victoria is my mom & Dorothea is after my late Grandma (mom's mom) Dorothy.
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Saturday, February 10, 2007
My new blog
I decided to make a seperate blog from my raw blog, for my more personal entries that aren't related to raw foods. I'm still working on it, so it's kind of blah right now... won't be for long! :-)
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
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