For once in a very long time, I am truly excited about my future! I have something to really look forward to - the birth of my nephew, Avery! And I just feel like life is going to go my way for once. This week, on Wednesday or Thursday, I am going to a required GED orientation class so that I can sign up to take my GED tests, and i'll finally be able to get a job after I get my GED. I have my eyes set on a daycare center. I have an idea of what I might like to do for a career down the road (Pharmacy Tech.) And i'll finally be excaping from the hell of living with my sister - when Missy, her fiance and I rent a house together sometime before July (before Avery is due!) I'm even considering getting my drivers license. Can it be that life will get better for me? I think so!!!!!! I'm optimistic. :o)
Oh! The other day I bought Avery the cutest onesie + shorts outfit from Walmart! The first of many I plan to buy him hehe. They don't have it on the website. I'll try to get a picture of it before I give it to Missy. It's blue, and the onesie has two bears on it and it says "best buds" underneath it, the shorts have a bear on the right leg. The cashier even commented on how cute it was lol. 136 days until the little guy is due!!! Yay!!!
That's all for now. :o) Wish me luck for Wednesday/Thursday! I have to find my Xanax so I can take it so I don't have a panic attack during the orientation thing... that would suck...
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
P.S. I have a new name love! Thanks to Grey's Anatomy (even though I liked the name before) I am in love with the name Shepherd! :o)
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Attack of the blog quizzes!
| Your Dream Engagement Ring Has a Heart Diamond! |
 You wear your heart on your sleeve, so of course you should also wear it on your ring. A heart diamond is the perfect choice for highlighting your passionate disposition. Only a true romantic can get away with wearing this ring. Luckily, that's you. And only a true romantic can give you this ring, so make sure you find him...! |
| Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Spiderman |
 "I have always been standing in your doorway. Isn't it about time somebody saved your life?" |
| You Are a Very Good Girl |
 You are 90% Good and 10% Bad You're a perfect angel - almost impossibly so Don't you ever feel like being a little bad?!? |
| You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe |
 But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites. And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear. |
| Your Makeup Look Is |
 Pale Lips with Big Eyes A little classic, a little retro - you look fantastic in this high fashion look. |
| You Are a Cupcake |
 Cute and fun, you never take life too seriously. People are constantly surprised by how delightful you are. |
| You Are 24% Girly |
 You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit. Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way. |
| You Are Most Like Liv Tyler |
 “I don't want to spend so much time obsessing about myself.” |
| Your Beauty Element is Earth |
 You are the epitome of a natural beauty. Your look is definitely effortless. And while you shy away from a lot of make-up and accessories, you're no granola girl either! |
I'm addicted to these! haha
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Monday, February 19, 2007
Grey's Anatomy
Okay, so i'm pretty much addicted to Grey's Anatomy now. I had never seen it before, but after hearing all the hype about it, I decided a few days ago to sign up for a free trial to netflix for the sole purpose of getting season one/two of Grey's! I got season one on Saturday in the mail, started watching it yesterday morning and i'm all done... and i'm SO bummed that today is a holiday and mail isn't running, so they won't go out until tomorrow and I won't get to start season two until Wednesday!
I accidently (well, okay, not accidently lol) read a recap of the last episode and now i'm freaking out! I have to get caught up!
I now understand the hype that is Dr. McDreamy! Haha.
Until next time...
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
I accidently (well, okay, not accidently lol) read a recap of the last episode and now i'm freaking out! I have to get caught up!
I now understand the hype that is Dr. McDreamy! Haha.
Until next time...
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Friday, February 16, 2007
It's a BOY!!!
My friend Missy called me earlier and left a voicemail saying "I had my first ultrasound today! I have exciting news, call me back!" so I immediately called her back! She first thought she was about 3 months pregnant, but she wasn't quite sure, because she couldn't remember when her last period was. Well... today at her appointment, during the ultrasound, they discovered she's 5 MONTHS!!! And she found out the gender... it's a BOY!!! We were both hoping for a little girl... but I am so excited that it's a boy!! So is she!! I can't believe she's going to have a son in just 4 months!!
I'm trying to help her find the absolute perfect name for the little guy. So far she seems to like Xavier and Theodore as well as a few others, but we'll see!
Since the day she told me she was pregnant (my birthday, February 6th!), we started talking about moving into a place together (with her fiance too, of course!) and I really think it might happen! I want to be in this little guys life and I can't think of a better way to do it than to live in the same house! haha... so hopefully it works out! :o)
OMG I'M GONNA HAVE A NEPHEW!!!!! 145 days until he makes his debut. :o)
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
I'm trying to help her find the absolute perfect name for the little guy. So far she seems to like Xavier and Theodore as well as a few others, but we'll see!
Since the day she told me she was pregnant (my birthday, February 6th!), we started talking about moving into a place together (with her fiance too, of course!) and I really think it might happen! I want to be in this little guys life and I can't think of a better way to do it than to live in the same house! haha... so hopefully it works out! :o)
OMG I'M GONNA HAVE A NEPHEW!!!!! 145 days until he makes his debut. :o)
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Social Anxiety
(this is a copy of a post I made on a message board)
I suffer from pretty bad social anxiety. It's basically taken over my life. I've been shy my entire life and not too comfortable around new people and especially large crowds, so maybe i've had it to some degree my entire life. In school, if I was supposed to do a presentation/speak in front of the class, i'd choose to take an F instead, because my nerves would be so shot that I couldn't handle it. I was convinced as soon as I got up there everyone in the class was going to judge me (which stems from my insecurities about my weight too.) I never tried to explain this to any of my teachers because I didn't think they would understand. The result of all those F's? Failing too many classes making it impossible to graduate on time. Thinking about it now, I think something that happened to be in 3rd grade might have a part in why i'm scared to be in front of people like that. My teacher was all into science and one day was showing us this "experiment" where you take vegetable shortenening, put it on your fingers and dip your fingers in ice water. The vegetable shortenening was supposed to represent whale blubber and how it keeps whales warm. I was one of the volunteers to try it out, and when I was up in front of the class, this boy shouted out "yeah, like she needs any more blubber!"
But over the last few years it's gotten worse, and over the past year or so it's gotten worse than it ever has been. I've always been a homebody and would much rather choose to stay at home than go out, but would have no problem going out if I needed to or had somewhere to go. But now... I can go a week or more without even stepping outside. The thought of going outside to do something as simple as taking out the trash in the middle of the day is nervewracking. I have to wait until it's dark out, so I know no one will be outside. If I have to go do something by myself outside, my nerves get shot, I start to shake and I pace around because I don't know what to do. If i'm going somewhere with someone, i'm usually okay, because they distract me from everything around me. But if they leave me... it's bad! About a month ago my sister and I were at the grocery store, and she walked away from me for a few minutes to go get something from another isle, and all these people were walking around me and I started to panic! When my sister got back to me she was like "are you okay? you're white as a ghost!" It wasn't cool!
I have a phobia of the phone. I usually have no problem answering it, if it's someone I know. But having to call someone? That's a whole other story. Usually I can call family/friends fine, but there is a level of panic in it. If I have to call someone I don't know, I have to create a "script" in my head of what i'm going to say, sometimes I have to write it down. If I don't know exactly what I want to stay before I call, I will freeze. It takes me at least a half hour to get the courage to call, because other than creating my script, I have to calm myself down, dial the number a few times (I've developed this thing where I am certain I dialed it wrong, so I have to check it/redial it a few times before i'm convinced it's right... I have a tad case of OCD with certain things) and make sure I am in a very calm place. The other day my sister asked me to order a pizza for her and I couldn't calm myself down to call, I was starting to panic really badly... so I drank a beer to loosen myself up! It was awful!
With the script-creating thing, I have to do it in public situations too. I remember one time a few months ago I had to go to the doctors, my sister took me (I don't drive... i'd surely have a panic attack taking the driving test!) ... before I went in to tell the front desk I was there for my appointment, I had to ask my sister "what do I say? does this sound okay? are you sure?" and she thought I was crazy!
I don't know if this was a vent or what... *shrug*
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
I suffer from pretty bad social anxiety. It's basically taken over my life. I've been shy my entire life and not too comfortable around new people and especially large crowds, so maybe i've had it to some degree my entire life. In school, if I was supposed to do a presentation/speak in front of the class, i'd choose to take an F instead, because my nerves would be so shot that I couldn't handle it. I was convinced as soon as I got up there everyone in the class was going to judge me (which stems from my insecurities about my weight too.) I never tried to explain this to any of my teachers because I didn't think they would understand. The result of all those F's? Failing too many classes making it impossible to graduate on time. Thinking about it now, I think something that happened to be in 3rd grade might have a part in why i'm scared to be in front of people like that. My teacher was all into science and one day was showing us this "experiment" where you take vegetable shortenening, put it on your fingers and dip your fingers in ice water. The vegetable shortenening was supposed to represent whale blubber and how it keeps whales warm. I was one of the volunteers to try it out, and when I was up in front of the class, this boy shouted out "yeah, like she needs any more blubber!"
But over the last few years it's gotten worse, and over the past year or so it's gotten worse than it ever has been. I've always been a homebody and would much rather choose to stay at home than go out, but would have no problem going out if I needed to or had somewhere to go. But now... I can go a week or more without even stepping outside. The thought of going outside to do something as simple as taking out the trash in the middle of the day is nervewracking. I have to wait until it's dark out, so I know no one will be outside. If I have to go do something by myself outside, my nerves get shot, I start to shake and I pace around because I don't know what to do. If i'm going somewhere with someone, i'm usually okay, because they distract me from everything around me. But if they leave me... it's bad! About a month ago my sister and I were at the grocery store, and she walked away from me for a few minutes to go get something from another isle, and all these people were walking around me and I started to panic! When my sister got back to me she was like "are you okay? you're white as a ghost!" It wasn't cool!
I have a phobia of the phone. I usually have no problem answering it, if it's someone I know. But having to call someone? That's a whole other story. Usually I can call family/friends fine, but there is a level of panic in it. If I have to call someone I don't know, I have to create a "script" in my head of what i'm going to say, sometimes I have to write it down. If I don't know exactly what I want to stay before I call, I will freeze. It takes me at least a half hour to get the courage to call, because other than creating my script, I have to calm myself down, dial the number a few times (I've developed this thing where I am certain I dialed it wrong, so I have to check it/redial it a few times before i'm convinced it's right... I have a tad case of OCD with certain things) and make sure I am in a very calm place. The other day my sister asked me to order a pizza for her and I couldn't calm myself down to call, I was starting to panic really badly... so I drank a beer to loosen myself up! It was awful!
With the script-creating thing, I have to do it in public situations too. I remember one time a few months ago I had to go to the doctors, my sister took me (I don't drive... i'd surely have a panic attack taking the driving test!) ... before I went in to tell the front desk I was there for my appointment, I had to ask my sister "what do I say? does this sound okay? are you sure?" and she thought I was crazy!
I don't know if this was a vent or what... *shrug*
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Monday, February 12, 2007
I'm gonna be an auntie!
My friend Missy is having a baby!!! I'm certain my sister will never have any kids, so I rely on my friends to give me nieces and nephews!!! She told me on my birthday, it was the best birthday present ever. :-) I already have two honorary nieces, Nevaeh [2] and Lyric [6m] but i'll be closer to Missy's baby. I can't wait to find out what she's having! Just a few more months until her big ultrasound (she thinks she's about 3 months along now, she'll find out for sure at her first appointment)! We're both (as well as everyone in her family) hoping for a girl. Her family is full of boys, the last girl born was her, almost 21 years ago! I can't wait to spoil the little bugger!!!
She is set on naming the baby Alena if it's a girl. Her mom's name is Helen, and Alena is a form/variant of Helen. She isn't sure of a boys name yet though.
... unrelated, but I think i'm going to be addicted to this blog and post about any random thing! haha... i'll try not to... ;-)
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
She is set on naming the baby Alena if it's a girl. Her mom's name is Helen, and Alena is a form/variant of Helen. She isn't sure of a boys name yet though.
... unrelated, but I think i'm going to be addicted to this blog and post about any random thing! haha... i'll try not to... ;-)
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Names
I am a major name addict. I'm obsessed with them! I have a huge list of favorites, I have my first sons name set in stone and I *think* I have my first daughters name picked out too, but i'm not completely sure. I won't budge on my first sons name though... sorry future hubby, whoever you are! haha
Here is my short list of combos (maybe i'll post my long list later on... and some single names too) --
Boys
River Matthew -- my first sons name!
Cassius Joaquin
Sebastian Milo
Ephraim Charles
Magnus David
Jack Nathaniel
Charles & David are family names... Charles was my Grandpa & David is my dad!
Girls
Willow Eve
Natalia Sage "Nettie"
Penelope Kate "Poppy" or "Penny"
Oceana Elizabeth
Anneliese Victoria "Annie"
Mischa Rain
Avoset Dorothea
Heidi Susanna
Beatrix "Bessie"'
Natalia "Nettie", Elizabeth, Victoria & Dorothea are after people... Nettie was my late Grandma (dad's mom), Elizabeth is after me (my middle name is Beth), Victoria is my mom & Dorothea is after my late Grandma (mom's mom) Dorothy.
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Here is my short list of combos (maybe i'll post my long list later on... and some single names too) --
Boys
River Matthew -- my first sons name!
Cassius Joaquin
Sebastian Milo
Ephraim Charles
Magnus David
Jack Nathaniel
Charles & David are family names... Charles was my Grandpa & David is my dad!
Girls
Willow Eve
Natalia Sage "Nettie"
Penelope Kate "Poppy" or "Penny"
Oceana Elizabeth
Anneliese Victoria "Annie"
Mischa Rain
Avoset Dorothea
Heidi Susanna
Beatrix "Bessie"'
Natalia "Nettie", Elizabeth, Victoria & Dorothea are after people... Nettie was my late Grandma (dad's mom), Elizabeth is after me (my middle name is Beth), Victoria is my mom & Dorothea is after my late Grandma (mom's mom) Dorothy.
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Saturday, February 10, 2007
My new blog
I decided to make a seperate blog from my raw blog, for my more personal entries that aren't related to raw foods. I'm still working on it, so it's kind of blah right now... won't be for long! :-)
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
Peace & Love,
-- everclear
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